not the mercury music prize
i couldn't get more than halfway down the list of candidates for the mercury music prize ("oooh, who will triumph ? the once-great band with their fifth and probably worst album...? their compatriots who want to be the next josef k, except that's aiming far too high...? the only band in the world who can be described as "sub-coldplay"...? the album of cover versions...? the pseudo-pavement ramblings of some veteran ulster cokeheads...? the streets...?") before glazing over and muttering "this country..." and then trailing off, alan partridge-style. i have therefore decided to institute an alternative accolade, the mock-mercury music prize (or mmmp) which is the kisschase assessment of the 12 uk albums of the last year which should, quite blatantly, have been competing for that £20,000 cash prize, enough to keep a young group in reasonable-grade narcotics for a week or two. i will not, however, be offering any cash to the mmmp victor. still, we will launch the mmmp with the full list of nominations v. shortly, two or three of which we're genuinely surprised didn't get the nod for the real thing. and then, i guess the tension will rise until at last the winner is announced... at the same time the "real" winner is. that'll blow them out of the water publicity-wise.
i couldn't get more than halfway down the list of candidates for the mercury music prize ("oooh, who will triumph ? the once-great band with their fifth and probably worst album...? their compatriots who want to be the next josef k, except that's aiming far too high...? the only band in the world who can be described as "sub-coldplay"...? the album of cover versions...? the pseudo-pavement ramblings of some veteran ulster cokeheads...? the streets...?") before glazing over and muttering "this country..." and then trailing off, alan partridge-style. i have therefore decided to institute an alternative accolade, the mock-mercury music prize (or mmmp) which is the kisschase assessment of the 12 uk albums of the last year which should, quite blatantly, have been competing for that £20,000 cash prize, enough to keep a young group in reasonable-grade narcotics for a week or two. i will not, however, be offering any cash to the mmmp victor. still, we will launch the mmmp with the full list of nominations v. shortly, two or three of which we're genuinely surprised didn't get the nod for the real thing. and then, i guess the tension will rise until at last the winner is announced... at the same time the "real" winner is. that'll blow them out of the water publicity-wise.
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